Um, change of plans...

I've been wanting to type this blog for a while now... and in reality, I'm going to type it all out and not even publish it right away because it's just not time for everyone to know yet.

I'm pregnant... and it was all on our own. Deacon was conceived via fertility treatments and last year I had a miscarriage from an IVF cycle. In between Deacon's birth and that IVF cycle I had 2 other early miscarriages. My body really isn't all that into reproducing.

So last week when my period was due I started spotting- I figured that was my period. 4 days later the spotting hadn't gotten any worse so it had me curious- I've heard of plenty of women who spot early on in pregnancy. But no, that couldn't be me. First of all, I'm reproductively challenged, second of all, Damien and I were careful this month about our timing (yes, I know, I'm getting pretty detailed... oh well). Around 9:00 p.m. I finally convinced myself to stop worrying and go buy a pregnancy test... which I really hated to do since they cost an arm and a leg. So $15 later I'm home with two pregnancy tests. Damien and I were watching our favorite summer reality show (So you think you can dance) and I got up in the middle of it to take the test. I peed and immediately saw a second line... ummmmm... I was seeing things, right? Right. So I went back to my show. 5 minutes later went back to check- yep, there's that line. I don't think I'm making it up. I call Damien- he see's it too. I call Dawn and send her a picture online, she sees it too (and in the process makes fun of my ridiculous picture I took holding the pregnancy test).

Long story short, I actually am pregnant... after blood work and an ultrasound to confirm it, I do have a little life growing inside of me.

So why am I posting about this on this blog? It seems like it would be more appropriate on my family blog. Well, not really. The problem with this pregnancy is that I shouldn't be pregnant. I was supposed to wait until 18 months after my surgery to get pregnant... and it's only been about 7 months.

What does this mean for me? First of all, anything is possible- and if I take care of myself and the baby everything will be fine. But I need to do a lot to keep everything working right- take all my vitamins religiously, get in my 100 grams of protein a day, drink all my water and most of all, up my caloric intake. That's the hard part- more calories.

I know I'm going to be fine and I know the baby is going to be fine... because I plan to do WHATEVER I'm told to do by my ob and my surgeon. There is nothing I won't do.

So for the next 9 months you won't be hearing too much about rapid weight loss (ok, who am I kidding... it's never been RAPID weight loss anyways, LOL) or obtaining my weight loss and fitness goals- but rather you'll hear what it's like to be pregnant after WLS.

I'm so excited to go through this pregnancy. I was VERY unhealthy when I was pregnant with Deacon and weighed about 50 lbs more than I do now when I got pregnant with him- so I'm very pleased to be where I am now.

A new goal...

So I have a new weight goal... I went to see my surgeon yesterday and she thought my goal was too skinny. I have based my goal on what those nifty little charts always say your weight should be for your specific height- she told me I was stupid. Ok, she didn't call me stupid... but she did ask who I thought wrote those guidelines and I said, "I don't know. The experts!" HA! Anyways, she wants my goal to be 160 and thinks that's a good weight for me. Originally I thought 145. I'm thinking we should compromise and go with 155... but I figure if I'm willing to listen to the "online experts" for so long the least I could do is entertain her 160 goal until I'm there and re-assess the situation then.

So that's my goal. 160. I will say that it's exciting to see my ticker say that I "only" have about 23 pounds left to lose.

I'M NOT OBESE!!!

I'M NOT OBESE ANYMORE!!! I am officially just OVERWEIGHT!!!

I never thought I'd be so excited about being overweight. LOL.

In all seriousness, this is really exciting for me. When I started my weight loss journey almost two years ago I was considered morbidly obese... and I was still considered morbidly obese when I had my surgery. And now I'm just overweight... and in 30 lbs my BMI will be considered "normal." 7 months ago when I had my surgery I had 122 lbs to lose. It seemed so unbelievably unobtainable. How does someone lose 122 lbs? That's like an entire person (well, ok, an entire skinny and petite person who probably could eat a brownie or two).

Everyday I amaze myself. I have NEVER been so amazed with myself- I love who I am. I know I keep saying that, but I can't get over it. It's weird to go from a place of self-hate to self-love. That transformation is very surreal and it's kind of happened overnight.

Anyways, I'm just quite pleased with my new BMI status as you can probably tell :)

THANK YOU

From the bottom of my heart- thank you all so much for the compliments, well wishes, comments, etc... I cannot even begin to tell you how much they mean to me.

8 months ago I could not even look at myself in a mirror, let alone take a picture and love what I saw. 8 months ago I took a picture with my son and the only reason I didn't delete it was because I knew I needed to have some memories of me with him as a 2 year old... but I hated how I looked. I was so unhappy. I'm such a different person today and I'm so happy- not just because I look better but because I feel better. I FEEL like a different person.

But anyways, thank you, again, for all your love and support- I was so worried about people judging me for having this surgery and no one has. I have received absolutely no negativity. And what I love is that those of you who were skeptical didn't judge- you just asked questions and made sure I was taking care of myself- and for that I am so grateful.

Almost 100 lbs later...

Since my surgery I've lost more than 80, but since I started losing weight I've lost close to 100 lbs (6 lbs away today). These two pictures are of me at my highest non-pregnancy weight and me at my lowest weight in almost 10 years. Below are more pictures.

7 months later...

Picture overload time... These pictures were all taken 7 months apart. I have now lost over 80 lbs since my surgery. In 6 more lbs I will have lost 100 lbs since my highest non-pregnancy weight. I am absolutely amazed.