December 3, 2007. The first day of the rest of my life... is that dramatic sounding enough? Hope so.
I'm really nervous about this blog... when I make it go public, I will essentially be announcing to the world (well, ok, my friends and family...) that I'm so fat that I am resorting to Gastric Bypass Surgery. I think that's my biggest problem with this surgery. For so long I've been in this peaceful state of denial about my weight... sure, I know I'm overweight. What was my first clue? Hmmm... not fitting on airplane seats properly, only being able to shop at Lane Bryant, the weird looks from people- do I need to go on?
Let me get this straight- this surgery is NOT the easy way out. I'll just put it out in the open for you all to read. I did not choose this surgery as a cop out, or a way to do it "quick." This surgery is a tool for me. It is just the beginning. I refuse to do this surgery and let it do all the work for me. I am going to continue my work with my personal trainer and I will continue to seek dietary guidance. My issues are with food, and I recognize this- this surgery cannot heal something psychological. If I let the surgery do all the work while I sit back and try to resort back to my old habits I will fail... this surgery will have been pointless, because over the years I will be back to where I am now. Plus, if I don't do what I'm told I'll get incredibly sick and lose my hair- definitely not the look I'm going for this season.
All I ask is that if you are reading this blog, you are supportive. I am not asking for you to understand what I'm going through. I just need for you to be here for me when I need you. I need for you to ask questions when you don't understand something. Ask me anything- I promise I will answer you.
Most of all, I ask that you KNOW that I have done my research... I am not going into this blindly.