I woke up in the middle of the night with the awful thought of something going wrong... and I got scared. I know my chances are slim, but what if something happens to me? It terrifies me. This whole time, Damien has been the one concerned... and I've been the one who has convinced him that I'll be fine. But I can't be sure, and that scares me.
And then I realized that this whole time this surgery hasn't seemed real to me... it hasn't hit me. I think in the back of my mind I kept saying that I could back out if I wanted to. But I'm not backing out, and I think I'm starting to realize this. I don't think I'm making sense now that I'm typing this. I still can't believe I'm doing it... and I'm not sure when it's going to be more real to me. Maybe when I wake up from surgery?
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Worth the weight?
I am overweight... I always have been. Well, maybe not always, but pretty darn close. Over the past 3 years I've gone through so many different fertility treatments... which resulted in 3 pregnancies and one child (who is the absolute love of my life). I attribute a lot of my weight gain to the fertility treatments, having a baby and being a working mom... I've also got my PCOS working against me. My biggest problem is myself. I refuse to blame my weight on anyone or anything but myself. This is all about me at this point... and I'm finally doing something about it. On October 17, 2007 I set a date to have weight loss surgery. From this point on, my life will never be the same. I will live the life I have always imagined... and I will do it significantly HEALTHIER.
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Weight loss
1 comment:
Since we haven't been able to connect to talk, thought I would do so here. You have a reason to be scared, in fact if you weren't scared I think it would be worse. You are making a life changing decision...one that will have positives and negatives. Like we sort of discussed before, we are the kind of people who like to know all the worst case scenario stuff. If I were in your shoes I would be terrified.
This is not a decision you made lightly, I am sure. It is also a decision that effects only you and your life so I have no reason to judge.
I hope that your recovery is swift and that you are always at peace with your decision. If there is anything the Husteds can do for you guys please let me know. In the meantime try to relax as much as you can. And lets get together for something yummy before you have your surgery.
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